20 Things I am Grateful for in 2020

I’m not going to lie, this was an intensely difficult post to write. This year would have been a hard year, even without the pandemic. But despite all of that, writing this list was helpful for me. It helped me to get one foot out of the rut that I’ve been walking in for months. Eventually I’ll get both feet out, but one is good for now.

Long walks in a safe neighborhood – one sure way to clear my head and calm my heart rate is to go walking around town for a mile or two with my little Calvin. It’s therapeutic for me.
Colter – he is my biggest supported and his crazy is such a good balance to my crazy. I love him so much.
Calvin – oh this boy. This beautiful, wonderful, funny, stubborn, food-crazy, little boy. I don’t know what I would have done without him this year. When I found out that I was expecting last year, I was scared out of my mind. It was way earlier than we were planning. But I needed him this year. I needed him here earlier than I had planned.
Epidurals – ummm…yeah. Got an epidural for Calvin’s birth (barely) and it was a very good thing. Enough said.
Marco Polo – being able to connect with my friends, while still keeping my little one safe, is an important aspect of taking care of myself. I have a couple of group Marco Polo groups that I love.
This blog – I didn’t realize how important this outlet is for me until I took a break from writing for a few weeks. Whether anyone reads what I write, or not, I love writing. So I’m going to keep writing.
3 Musketeers – my favorite candy bar since I was a little kid. A reliable source when I need a little spark of joy. (Fair warning: I eat them the same way I did when I was little).
Access to my therapist 24/7 – I’ve started working with a therapist to address some long standing mental health and mood concerns, including my postpartum depression and anxiety. But I’m busy. And exhausted a lot of the time. Also COVID. So have 24/7 online access has worked wonderfully for me.
Walmart grocery pickup – I hate grocery shopping. Trying to find my brands, trying to compare prices, checking out, loading up…I really dislike all of it. But I’m also a control freak. Grocery pickup relieves the stress of grocery shopping without creating the stress of sending someone else to do it for me. Win-win.
Google Photos – a safe place for the many, many, many photos and videos that I take of Calvin. I go back through them constantly and I would be devastated if I lost them by dropping my phone in the toilet. So they’re kept safely in the cloud.
My iPhone’s camera – I have a camera that can capture photos and videos at a moments notice. I often capture moments with my family that I wouldn’t have been able to with a traditional camera.
An adequate and stable income (finally) – we’ve struggled financially for most of our marriage. We had reached a little stability a year and a half ago, and then I found out I was pregnant, and it all fell apart again. And then, finally, Colter got a job that stabilizes us and will allow us to save, not just make ends meet. It feels like a miracle.
The channel Loeppky’s Life on YouTube – Delilah Loeppky has a way of sparking peace and tranquility when I watch her videos on YouTube. I rely on her for zen when I’m having a particularly hard day. Also, she has just the sweetest demeanor and outlook on life and motherhood.
Netflix, Hulu, Prime Video, YouTube, Plex, etc. – spending a lot of time at home as led to a lot of screen time. But luckily, we have options for our media consumption and I am here for it.
Hot showers – my place to process. My place to relax. My place to cry. As an added bonus, I love when my hair is freshly washed.
Hunter’s brief break from his mission – Hunter came home from Brazil for a few weeks before being reassigned to Florida. And this little break meant that Calvin was able to meet his Uncle Hunter when he was 6 weeks old, rather than 18 months old.
Living in the same house as my family – living in the basement apartment of my parent’s home means that we are technically in the same “household”. So even during stay-home orders, we get to spend time with them.
Taylor Swift’s newest album Folklore – I listen to this album on repeat. It helps me feel and process difficult emotions. Not to mention, I love to sing.
Functioning A/C in my car – I went without A/C in my car very briefly this summer. We quickly got it fixed and I am extremely grateful.
My vitamin D supplement – I started taking an additional supplement of vitamin D on the recommendation of my doctor to help with my PPA and PPD. I have noticed a difference. It’s not as good as getting out in the sunshine and soaking it in naturally, but it’s a great alternative for me.

I feel better. I feel brighter. I recommend giving yourself some care. I also recommend taking a moment…Relax your shoulders. Stretch your arms and wrists. Take a deep breath through your nose. Count to five. Let it out through your mouth. Go drink some water if you can. You’ve got this. You’re doing great. Just keep going.