My sister got married this summer and we brought both Calvin and Della to the wedding. We wanted the day to go as smoothly as possible, so we had a couple of tricks up our sleeves.
A wedding day is such a special and exciting one, but if you’re a guest bringing small kids or if you’re in the wedding party like I was, things can be a little more complicated.
The first thing to make sure you clear with the bride and groom is whether or not kids are invited. Sometimes children are welcome at the reception, but not at the ceremony. Sometimes the wedding is completely ”child-free” and sometimes they are invited to all of the events of the day. It’s so important to double check with those getting married and to respect their wishes so that you can all be prepared and have a lovely day.
My sister and brother-in-law invited my kids to all the events of the day. From the prep to the ceremony to the pictures to the dinner and to the reception, and the whole day was about 7 hours long. At the time of the wedding, Calvin was about two and a half and Della was six months old. On the one hand, it was nice to not have to worry about getting someone to tend my kids all day (especially as Della is exclusively nursed and I did not want to deal with bottles and pumping). On the other, it meant that my kids were going to be involved in the entire afternoon stuffed full of events and we needed to make it a good experience for them (and for the people around us).
Let’s walk through the day, one event at a time.
BEFORE THE WEDDING
On the wedding day, the ceremony was first on the agenda and it wasn’t until the early afternoon. We were able to take the entire morning to get things ready.
The first piece of prep work we did for the wedding actually took place in the weeks leading up to the big day. Calvin’s outfit was a pair of shorts, a short sleeved button up shirt, a bowtie, and suspenders. It took a couple of weeks to acclimate Calvin to wearing shorts and short sleeved shirts again after a long winter of long pants and jackets. If we had tried to put his wedding clothes on him without any warning, he would have been miserable about his arms and legs showing. He ended up entirely rejecting his suspenders and bowtie, but we figured the bride would rather have a mostly-dressed smiling toddler than a fully-dressed screaming toddler in her pictures.
On wedding day, we made sure that Calvin had a good, filling lunch before he went down for his nap. The last thing you want is a hangry kids who hasn’t eaten anything but fruit snacks and Fruit Loops all day long. Calvin had a large serving of homemade mac and cheese, pickles, potato chips, and a cup of full fat milk to make sure he would be fueled for the busy afternoon.
Before leaving, we got Calvin all dressed and ready, but not Della. Della has this amazing ability to blow out of her diaper onto her nice clothes the second we arrive at a family event. It happened at my cousin’s homecoming, when we celebrated my birthday with family, on Mother’s Day, on Memorial Day, and numerous other times. So we just brought Della in a plain onesie and changed her into her wedding clothes at the venue. We also added a cloth diaper ”outer” over her regular diaper to prevent any blowout from getting on her clothes. And we packed an extra outfit for her just in case.
THE CEREMONY
My sister’s wedding ceremony was held outdoors and it was relatively small. As I was a bridesmaid, I had to stand up at the front while Colter sat in the rows of chairs with the kids. In order to keep them quiet and happy we brought the iPad for Calvin and Della was sitting with my aunt and cousin. I made sure to sunscreen both kids before the ceremony started and Della wore a sunhat to keep the sun out of her eyes. Calvin watched a downloaded movie on the iPad with the volume off and he was happy as can be without disrupting anything. We also had toy cars and lots of snacks available in case he wasn’t interested in watching a show.
It was really nice to have lots of family there to help hold Della so Colter could focus on Calvin and keeping him entertained. If she hadn’t been in a social mood, Colter likely would have worn her in our baby carrier during the ceremony. Della loves the carrier and it always chills her out when she’s in a mood.
PICTURES
Calvin doesn’t often like to hold still. So in order to keep him happy and still for at least a few pictures, I absolutely bribed him. Colter kept some smarties candies (mess-free and wouldn’t melt) in his pocket. As we took pictures, Colter kept Calvin steadily supplied with these small candies and Calvin was willing to at least be held and be in the pictures.
Della didn’t mind holding still, though I have no idea whether she was smiling or not. As the adults in the picture, it isn’t your job to get the child to look at the camera. It’s your job to hold the child in view and to smile. The worst thing is when the photographer gets the kids’ attention and a great picture of them smiling, and the adults in the shot are look at the kids instead of the camera. Plus, most people would prefer a shot where the kids aren’t look rather than one where the adults aren’t.
DINNER
The bride and groom chose to have Costa Vida cater the wedding dinner after pictures had concluded. Calvin doesn’t particularly like meat, rice, or beans, which makes Mexican food a little challenging for him. Rather than worry about whether or not he would eat what was served, we just packed him a dinner in his Bentgo Brights lunchbox and brought his water bottle. He had homemade blueberry yogurt muffin, strawberries, grapes, blueberries, and a Hershey Kiss for dinner. He happily ate the food that he was used to and comfortable with, and we got to actually enjoy our Costa.
I do think it’s important for kids to be introduced to a variety of foods and we did offer Calvin the opportunity to eat what was catered. But I also don’t think that a wedding is the best place to try and get your two-year-old to eat foods that they regularly refuse at home.
THE RECEPTION
Once we reached the reception, I felt like things got a lot easier. The atmosphere of the reception was very chill and fun. There was space to mingle indoors and outdoors at the venue. There were cookies to munch on and cornhole boards set up outside. Calvin happily ate cookies and ran around with his cars and bubbles and his dad following after him for pretty much the entire reception.
As for Della, once the ceremony and pictures were over, anytime she wasn’t happily being held by a family member she was being worn in a carrier. I brought our Happy Baby Onbuhimo carrier and our Hope&Plum ring sling to the wedding and it was great. The Onbuhimo I have is a beautiful tan color with a flower print on it, so it actually matched the wedding colors decently. We brought two carriers because the Onbuhimo is the one Della most likes to sleep in and the ring sling is the easiest for me to discreetly nurse Della in. Della took all of her naps in the carrier, but I didn’t end up needing the ring sling at all because I was able to nurse Della on the couch in the air-conditioned Bride’s Room every time she got hungry.
Overall, it was a terrific day. We let the kids’ usual bedtimes go, though we did bring pajamas for both of them so we could change the kids before leaving and put them straight to bed when we got home. To sum up my tips, they are: make sure your kids are fed and fed well all day long, bring entertainment, always pack extra clothes, and let your kids enjoy the event as much as they can.
Thanks for reading about my experiences taking my 2.5 year old and my 6 month old to my little sister’s wedding. I truly appreciate you being here.
BARREL OF MERRELL'S 
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